I believe in Christ

I cannot remember a time when I did not believe in Jesus Christ. I have had to deepen my knowledge and love through study but He has blessed me with experiences and tender mercies as well. I know He lives and watches over me.

The foundation of my belief began with the creation. As a child, I used to go outside in the morning and wander through the backyard enjoying the spring sun rays lighting up the tulips, daffodils and spring grass.  There was a little patch of violets and some wild roses. We had a little crab-apple tree and pear tree that I remember fertilizing because I thought that would make them grow better. At least make the crab-apples taste like juicy sweet apples?!

My mother gave me a plot in the family garden. I was so disappointed when my zinnias didn't grow very well (mine was in the shadier part).  My twin brothers plot was a miracle-grow commercial. We had a beautiful lilac tree that I would wait impatiently to bloom each spring. I knew every corner of our little yard. I would dig through the dirt examining the potato bugs, worms and slugs breathing in the warm scented air. We would play for hours on the tire awing, playing matchbox cars in the dirt and pretending we lived in the Amazon rainforest.

I would incessantly bug my parents for animals but they only conceded to hamsters. I would sneak cats into the house which inadvertently caused an nasty explosion in the flea population. My dad suffered through it silently. I would constantly dream of horses running through my backyard.  I had an imaginary horse named Sundusk that lived in the covered porch outside my second story room. He had beautiful flowing flaxen mane and tail contrasting with a chestnut body. Eventually (when I was all grown up) I was able to own cats, dogs, chickens, goats, and horses.

I knew these were gifts from above and I reveled in the beauty of God's creations.

I have always loved Spring because of the renewal of life and the increasing light that shines forth longer each day.  My spirits rise when it is sunny outside and my body is invigorated by the light.  Many times I have considered the solitary life bringing essence of the sun.  If there was one thing that I could choose to contemplate and know that God exists, it is simply the sun. The symbolism for Christ is inherent.

Sun: life bringer: Son
Sun: light: Son
Sun: warmth: Son
Sun: healer: Son
Sun: energy: Son
Sun: center: Son

The stars have also fascinated me and as I have learned more about them and the immensity of space, the billions of stars and millions of galaxies, my feeble mind can hardly comprehend the majesty of our great Creator. And His sole purpose?  Us!

For behold, this is my ^awork and my ^bglory—

to bring to pass the ^cimmortality and ^deternal ^elife of man. 

Moses 1:39

The following is an example of a tender mercy the Lord has given me:

written July 27, 2008

After I bought Romy, I toyed with the idea of breeding her. She has great bloodlines and a great temperament, as well as other good qualities. I waited for a few years after I purchased her to breed her, wanting my personal life to be less hectic (ie no tiny babies). After we bought the Ranch, there was a free space in the schedule and so I bred her to a nice palomino stud. I enjoyed dreaming of all the free time I would have to enjoy my horses. Then I did something stupid. I told God I was bored. . .
I found out I was pregnant in September '06. Not too much later, I called the doctor crying because I was bleeding. He had me schedule an ultrasound. To my utter amazement, not only was I still pregnant, but there were two. TWO pepperoni's. All my planning flew out the window. During the ensuing months, I tried to imagine how I would witness the birth of my foal (one of my greatest desires) knowing that my due date and my horses due date were about the same time.
Life continued. I got bigger. My mare got bigger. She ate, slept, drank and relaxed. I ate, drank, chased six kids, didn't sleep so well and got HUGE. I was put on modified bed rest starting my 28th week. Since I wasn't going to be able to do anything during that time, I made sure everything was taken care of beforehand, including cleaning the entire living room and shopping for another car-seat a few days before the deadline. I remember walking around babyrus thinking how much it hurt- not like the other babies of mine.
Needless to say, I must have been doing too much and my body started going into labor. Thankfully, my mother was at my house that Sunday night, helping out. Paul and I left for the hospital and the rest is history. Two cute little baby boys were born in the wee hours of the morning, eleven weeks too early. I remember leaving the hospital when I was checked out two days later, thinking: will I bring these little babies home? Paul and I were afraid.
I spent the next ten weeks going to the hospital once a day, pumping every three to four hours, trying to take care of my other wee ones and sometimes thinking about my little mare. At least, I thought, I won't be lugging a pregnant body down to the barnyard to foal watch. During this time, I pleaded with the Lord that my boys would be OK. I also asked God if it would be alright to see Romy's baby born. I wasn't sure if he heard me but I hoped I would be able to.
The last couple days before the boys came home were very busy. I was going to the hospital twice a day and would soon stay at the hospital two nights in a row. Bryce was also baptized the day before the boys came home. Oh, and Romy still hadn't foaled out. She was two weeks over her due date.
I would go out to check on her after I came home from the hospital and watch her for about half an hour before I would give up to try and get some sleep before the next pumping. I got to where I just told myself to expect a baby in the morning (the majority of foals are born during the night- a storm and full moon help too).
I spent the night at the hospital on Sat to practice taking care of the baby boys by myself. I had to give them their meds, keep an eye on their monitors and hook up oxygen for nursing, as well as change diapers and record vitals. I didn't sleep well that night. The next day I brought them home. This was a great relief to me but also stressful. I think I looked at my horse that day from the window. Nope, no foal.
Monday came. I juggled babies and kids and tried to start a routine with the new little ones. The babies happened to be sleeping and I was talking to Aunt Julia- Paul's aunt. I happened to be looking out the sliding glass door, watching my kids in the pasture, when suddenly, I became distracted from my phone call. Romy was acting funny. She was laying down! It was only 7 PM. I got off the phone and went to have a look. Lo and behold, my mare was in labor! We gathered the family together, called a few friends and went to watch this amazing moment.
A big colt was born about 45 minutes later.
Now the reason I wanted to share this story is because I believe this was a tender mercy given to me from the Lord. The miracle of the story is that Romy gave birth during the day when the boys were sleeping, it was warm and light out, and I was able to share it with my family and friends and I didn't miss it!! I also must mention how incredibly my little boys are doing. They are so healthy. 
I still am trying to figure out why it is that God gave me this moment. I think the biggest thing I learned from this is that God knows us each intimately. He knows our hopes and dreams. He has given me a memory to lean on when I have doubts and difficult moments. I know of a surety that he loves ME. I hope that the intent of this story is conveyed to you the reader and that it gives you a sense of hope. I also pray that each of you will know how much the Lord loves you. 
Now if I could always remember that feeling!

May we turn to the Lord and strengthen our faith in His merciful Plan of Salvation.
 I